A new Journey

*Sigh* I feel like I’m failing myself. I keep gaining weight, or at least it feels like it. I feel like I  am constantly choking, I feel like I can’t walk up a flight of steps with out getting out of breath. It’s like every time I try to loose weight something happens with my health and sets me back. Ugh I just want to loose weight. I just want to be healthy. I don’t want to be fat anymore. 

Thats it by this time 2015 i will be at least 50lbs lighter, this is a minimum my max will be 100lbs. I’m so tired of this. I might be taking a break from tumblr s0 that I can focus on me and my school and not on social networking. I’ve gotta get myself better. 

I started with MyFitness Pal and I also started my own chart in excel for my food and weight. This is going to happen. Nothing is going to stop me this time. I am so done with being unhappy with myself. This year is actually going to be different. 

Not only is this going to be a weight loss journey but this is going to be a journey for me to get closer to God. I have fallen away from him, if you haven't noticed.  This Journey is not just going to be a weight loss journey, but a spiritual journey as well as an art journey.  I  really want to get closer to God this year, andI know that it will be the best thing for me. I'm going to be 100% honest about everything on here. What I eat, do, read, say and think. I will try and do it everyday. I know there is a possibility that I wont make it everyday, but it's worth a shot.

When I say this is going to be an art journey, I mean once a week, probably at the end of each weak, I will make a drawing, painting, sketch, poem, just something to express feelings and what not.

I love myslef, and this is why I am doing this. Not because of what people say about me, but because I want to be healthy.