Taking Up My Cross

 And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. But I tell you truly, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God.” - luke 9:23-27

This passage has been popping up all over the place for me this summer. And I've been wondering why, Why tht every time I visit a new church is the message on taking up my cross and following Christ? I'm still trying to figure out what He is trying to say to me, but as I sit here doing my devotions I realized its been a good month since I did my devos. Which means its been a month since I've had a conversation with God, since I listened to what he has to say. In that month I've been focusing more on myself, pleasing myself and not doing Gods work. Ya I've been going to church every Sunday, but He is around me more than just on Sunday. 

I need to let The Lord just take over all aspects of my life, every inch of it. from school to my social life. The funny part is I think I kind of got that last night. I went to my friends sweet 16, but to do so I had to miss the second half of the last night of VBS. Who knows what I missed out on, maybe there was a message I was suppose to receive, or see how The Lord worked in a child's life. I was to worried about going and having fun. When I got to the party I felt uncomfortable, it was not a situation I should have been in. The music, the dancing, the way people were dressed would not have been pleasing to God, and I'm kind of ashamed that I even went.  I went and I learned my lesson. From now on, I will really think about the situations I put myself in. I know it's going to be hard because I am in college, but who knows maybe I can evangelize while at a college party and bring someone to Christ. Well here goes nothing. :) 

Dear heavenly, I thank you so much for today, and for the new mercies that are given to us with each new dawn. I know that I do not deserve them, and I should be sent to the pits of hell dear Lord. I would like to repent my sins of fornication, watching porn and masturbating, I am sorry for my suicidal thoughts, and my thoughts of self worthlessness. I put these thoughts and actions on the alter, as well as my resentment of my parents. I know recently I have not been the best daughter, and that I have not had respect for my father in a long time, due to that resentment, I pray that you help me to respect him more, and to give me the stregnth to apologize to both my mom and my dad for being rude and ungrateful. Dear Lord I also put my feelings for Wayne up on the alter as well. Although no Inapropriet thoughts have come across my mind about him consciously, knowing myself I know tht thy are there somewhere. I pray that you guid our conversations and meetings in the right direction, and th You have your hand in the middle of what's going on. I pray for Tashee that she dos better this next time around, that she will run to you when ever she thinks something is un fair, or she is upset with her grandmother or mother. Let her know that when ever she feels alone she has you as well as myself. I cannot do the same for her as you can, but I can guide her to you more. Lord I pray for all of those who do not have a place to stay tonight, that they are safe, and are feed. I pray that you have a hand of protection over them, especially those who are very old or very young. Lord please use me in any way you see fit, and show me what I need to work on, and what I need to fix so I can be right with you. InJesus name I do Pray Amen,